Stop Trying to Sell Me Things. I Have NO Money

Is that the phone? Hope jumps into my heart. I think of all the job applications and advertisements that I have answered in the last week.

I say to myself, "This could be it. Who says finding a job is hard? Look there is one of the hundreds, nay say, thousands of firms who wants a valued employee like me, right there on the phone."

I answer and there is a very complimentary speaking man on the other side. As I try to keep my head inside the small room, it sounds as if this man really understands my value and the transferable skills I can bring to the table.

Wait did he say something about "Executive Recruiter". That is okay, I could use someone else looking for a job for me. "Market assessment" will be done by his firm to help me iron out the little wrinkles in my resume. Still sounds great. He is going to send me a link with more information and once I look at it he will give me call in a day or two.

I say, "sounds great."

I go home to watch a thirty minute little presentation on his website. Very well done.

Wait does he want me to pay? Does he not know, I don't have a job. He must, he called me about my "Marketable Skills.... transference and everything."

So for three resumes (but they will be all new, they will create a "Market Campaign" for me) and a dozen letters to prospective employers, I can borrow money (thousands) to pay him.

My mind says "but aren't those pretty pie charts, and he knows the secret of the hidden job market."

Guess I will have to wait for his return call to tell him, "I HAVE NO MONEY."

Take care.

I'm Opening a Bank

As I sat culling the internet job boards for the fifth day this week, I discovered I am no longer looking for the possible match but applying for just about anything that is still open. A few days ago the rationalization was "if it is a couple of weeks old, they probably are already set to hire who they want" now the mantra is something like "if they didn't want resumes they should have taken it down."

However, I had a moment of brilliance in my little dystopia. "I will open a bank." It makes perfect sense. I will find friends and family give them lots of money knowing they can not pay it back. Now for my genius. Since congress has already said that it will bail out the lenders it is full proof.

Today, I went by a local manufacture and filled out an application for work with two other fine citizens of my little borough. One had even chosen to where a clean t-shirt for the application process. However, his comrade did manage to fine time to paint his fingernails black for the event.

Please tell me this will end soon.

Anger and the Unemployment Office

Well it is the third day of being laid off and now I believe I am in the Anger Stage of my grief for my job. I am reasoning this because I am catching my self dreaming of my previous company's owner being slowly rotated on a spit over a large fire with the employees screaming his own cute little sayings at him; "if you have all the feathers you can carry, can you carry one more?", "I can't write it down because it is to complicated; it changes", "that is not what I meant".

One of the great reliefs today was on my mandatory trip to the unemployment office, in Nashville, I did get to list to my favorite podcast, This Week in Tech. But I digress.

Now, what I am about to say has been influenced by both my mood and the recent turn of events in my life. I inherently believe most people are good and do espouse that those who are more unfortunate must be helped by those of us who have had opportunities they have not. Okay with all that out of the way.

This mandatory visit to a Tennessee Career Center is an attempt by the state to reduce the amount of any unemployment insurance you may be entitled to. After my short hour and a half visit I wanted to have my arm ripped off and someone to beat me to death with it. For those of you have not done this you should take a little time at lunch and go sit in there and depress yourself. I go in fill out an application and list my two degrees (liberal arts, so now you know why I am unemployed) and the fact that I was making over $10 an hour. Sit in a metal chair until told to go meet my counselor. Who is a pleasant woman, but who can only recommend I keep looking. I thought: I know that. I did not have to come all the way up here to hear that from yet another person. What I think I might have liked was an angelic voice tell me that: I was progressing well and that things would work fine.

She said none of this.

So back at the job boards. I am going to list them, but most of them you probably have already found:

1. Monster : The big boy.
2. Careerbuilder : Another big boy
3. Hotjobs
4. Craigslist
5. Dice
6. NashvilleHelpWanted
7. Verizon
8. Cummins
9. Yellow Freight
10. Nashvillejoblinks
11. Robert Half Technologies
12. Metropolitan Nashville Public Schools
13. OHL
14. BizJournal
15. Indeed
16. USAJobs
17. Customs and Border Protection
18. Cheatham County School District
19. Tennessee Department of Human Resources
20. Austin Peay State University
21. Employment911
22. Tennessee Valley Authority
23. At&T (Bellsouth)
24. Louisiana Pacific Corporation (LP)
25. Nissan
26. Brassring
27. Tennesseejobs
28. JobsinClarksville
29. Mars
30. CameronCraigGroup
31. JobstarCentral
32. Phil Ellis Associates
33. JobsInLogistics
34. Menlo Worldwide
35. United States Postal Service
36. Caterpillar
37. Cracker Barrel
38. Kirkland's
39. JobSearchEngine
40. JobBankUSA
41. LocalCareers
42. Change.gov


As I find more I will update this posting. Thanks for listening.

Finding Out

Let me set the stage. Yesterday morning, I was called into my supervisor's office to find out that I was being "released" back to the firm's employee leasing agency. That he, my supervisor, was not certain why or the details of my being released, that the owner had decided in my absence and it was to be so.

Okay. I clean out my desk and call the person at the leasing agency to find out that she knows less than I do. Only she has no positions available. So the job hunt begins on the drive back home.

Did I mention that I just got back from a week with the family on vacation or that my grandmother died the Friday before I left or that I have missed 2 sick days in 3 years or that we have not had an increase in that 3 years.

It is day two and I have applied for three jobs, called three people who may have a job opening, and dropped off one resume for substitute teaching.

So instead of therapy I decided to try the advice of a post on Robert Scoble's blog. So I will try and keep everyone updated on my progress. Right now it is important for me to find out what stage of grief, I am officially at. Try it you will like it.